As men a lot is expected from us and I always say to whom much is given, much is expected but that does not mean we cannot manage other people’s expectations of us. Now I am not referring to the agreed-upon responsibilities we have as men, but the expectations that can extend beyond specific duties.
Why should we manage other people’s expectations of us?
I know you have heard the expression “What more do you want from me!”. This phrase is often uttered when a man believes he has given his utmost best to a situation yet falls short of others’ expectations. It can be frustrating when you think you are doing your best but are still not meeting expectations. This is why it is important to master the skill of managing the expectations others have of us. Doing so is crucial for the well-being of our mental health
What is managing other people’s expectations of us?
According to Oxford, expectations mean a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. They are formed based on a combination of past experiences, cultural influences, personal values, and individual perspectives. Expectations can relate to various aspects of life, including relationships, work, personal development, and more.
Some people will expect things from you based on their belief system, based on their biases, or based on their culture. Their expectation of you may not be communicated or if they are communicated, may not be realistic.
Why do we want to manage other people’s expectations of us?
By managing the expectations that others hold for us, we can avoid misunderstandings, establish common and achievable objectives, cultivate trust between partners, promote accountability, and above all, contribute to our personal well-being.
The boundaries we set by managing other people’s expectations of us will act as guardrails that define the relationship. It will safeguard us from resentment, and stress, ensuring a healthier and more harmonious connection with others. To avoid these negative outcomes. Here are three things we can do to manage the expectations others have for us:
- Foster Communication
- Establish Smart Goals
- Cultivate Self-awareness
Foster Communication
Open and honest communication between yourself and others can help set the stage for what is to be expected in the relationship. You have to be courageous enough to communicate your capabilities and limitations so that all parties know what can be expected.
It’s very easy for others to put you on a figurative pedestal that holds you to a certain standard of perfection that immediately sets you up for failure and disappointment because the expectations of perfection are unrealistic as we are all imperfect human beings. When everyone is on the same page, it reduces the chance of conflicting expectations.
Establish Smart Goals
Setting goals helps bring clarity and alignment between people. This clarity helps everyone understand what to expect because everyone is aware of what is the goal to be achieved. Each relationship will have its own unique goals. Setting SMART goals enhances accountability, and transparency making it easier to manage other people’s expectations of you. It establishes a framework that promotes understanding and alignment, fostering a positive and productive environment.
Cultivate Self-Awareness
For you to be able to know what others can expect from you, you have to be willing to look at yourself and self-assess. You need to assess your abilities, discerning what tasks you can realistically undertake and acknowledging those that might be beyond your capacity.
Self-awareness allows us to recognize our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing our limitations helps set realistic expectations, preventing overcommitment and potential disappointment. Achieving this requires a degree of courage rooted in honesty, as many of us may be hesitant to acknowledge our shortcomings. This reluctance can create a misleading perception that we possess capabilities beyond our actual capacity.
Understanding our emotional triggers and reactions helps us manage how we respond to situations. This self-awareness can prevent unnecessary conflicts and ensure that our reactions align with others’ expectations.
WRAP UP
By setting clear expectations, we guide others on what they can reasonably expect from us. It empowers individuals to communicate more clearly, navigate relationships with empathy, and align their actions with their values, creating a more harmonious and productive environment.
The little Engineer that could! Ryian Williams, wears multiple hats as a husband, father, author, speaker, and engineer. Driven by his enthusiasm for coaching and uplifting men, he has embraced the lifelong mission of guiding men toward becoming the most authentic versions of themselves
So appropriate, especially as men it feels like society has burdened us with expectation. Some wilt under it, others never give themselves a moment to relax because they’ve been lead to believe that they should always be producing, excelling or improving.
“What more do you want from me?”
This read had the mind going.
Great read